New year, New Me?

Perhaps it’s the time of year that makes me begin to reflect and analyse things, I’m not sure, but today finds me feeling in an extremely reflective mood.

I am just over a year on from when my life as I’d known it for the last 13 years ended. I wish I was able to write that I had had an amazing transformation, like one of those oh-so-inspiring Phoenix from the Ashes stories you all-too-often hear; the small, sad reality, however, is that I am almost exactly the same today as I was a year ago. That makes me sad, initially. I’ve had a year to sort myself out, to get back on my feet and to be the person I know I can be.

Then I stop. I realise I’m not the person I was then; visually maybe, and that is disappointing for me on a personal level (I’m under no illusion that I’m the only person that actually care about this!). I realised that I have actually grown in ways I didn’t think possible.

  1. I have managed almost solo (I say almost because I have had some support off my amazing family and friends) when I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope with both children on my own.
  2. I have moved house and sorted all that entails by myself
  3. I have battled my depression and I think I’m now winning
  4. I didn’t give up
I’ve not run any marathons, raised amazing amounts of money for charity or, in fact done anything worthwhile to the greater universe, however, on a personal level, I am proud of my achievements. I’m not writing this post for gratification, I’m merely writing it to concrete in my own mind that the last year wasn’t wasted, it was a continuation of a learning journey that will never end.
I realise that I’m a little late with the whole New Year’s Resolutions thing, but I’m going to be a little different and pledge mine beginning on the 1st February. My reckoning is that January is such a higgledy-piggledy month with so much still going on from the Christmas period that I find it almost impossible to focus properly. The start of February is when all the festivities are brought to a close and things look a little less grim (Valentine’s Day being the exception, of course!). So, here are my goals for 2016:
  • To continue to be a reflective learner
  • To end the year either at my goal weight or very close to it
  • To start something (not a fight!) and see it through to the end
I guess the ‘moral’ of my story is that whenever you feel as though you haven’t achieved anything, think less about the superficial stuff like looks or wealth and look inside at the person you are now compared to the person you were then; I’m sure there will be a change you can be proud of.


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